Lady Gaga To Release A Fragrance

When celebrities reach a certain level of popularity, it is only reasonable that they impose their own scent on the general public. Though the most recent fragrance to be released didn't do too well - no one wants to smell like a lonely 40-year-old bag lady, Jennifer Aniston - Lady Gaga seems to have a trick or two up her sleeve to make her perfume the most kick-ass fragrance EVER. According to Fashionista:

According to sources in the fragrance industry hired to develop Lady Gaga‘s first fragrance, the pop star has requested that the scent “smell of blood and semen.”

Yup. Blood and semen. So if you've ever wanted to smell like an episode of Law and Order:SVU, then this is the scent for you. But honestly, I can't imagine the fragrance of "rape while on the rag" to be that enticing. In fact, if I'm on the bus, sitting next to someone with this perfume wafting through the air, I'll have to spray them down with something that's NOT entirely repulsive. Or I'll vomit. It's really a toss-up.

"Jersey Shore" Moving To Italy

THIS is going to Italy.

Because the cast of Jersey Shore's attempts at contaminating the entire American population have proven incredibly successful, the franchise is moving to Italy for the fourth season (seriously? four seasons?), potentially resulting in an Ed Hardy pandemic. According to MTV:

Yes yesss y'all -- the rumors on TMZ are true. "Jersey Shore" will be shooting its fourth season in ITALY! According to an official hot-off-the-press release from our employer, the entire cast and crew of MTV's wildly popular hit show will be trading in their shot-filled road trips to Seaside Heights for a sure-to-be mini-bottle laden plane ride to their homeland.

Ok. Let's get one thing straight here. No one on Jersey Shore is ACTUALLY from Italy. They are self-entitled East-Coasters that were - more likely than not - born next to a dumpster behind a Wendy's. And if we haven't managed to piss off Europe enough over the last, oh I don't know, 200 years, then this show will probably be the final nail in our morbidly obese coffin. So everyone: stock up on some water, spam, guns, and box-sets of Saved By The Bell because it is going to be a long time before this blows over.